Sunday, February 17, 2008

Communication and How it Affects Relationships

I've been meaning to write something on this for a little while now, but haven't gotten around to it. As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently completed the Starting the Successful Marriage Course. No, my boyfriend hasn't proposed, so congratulations are not in order - but we did do the course together!

Anyway, that's beside the point. I wanted to do a post regarding one of the things I learned on the course, with regards to communication. In Scientology, there is something we call the
ARC Triangle which stands for Affinity*, Reality** and Communication***. If these point are all used, they bring about Understanding. This is incredibely important in a relationship. In fact, one of the biggest complaints I hear from my friends are "He just doesn't understand me." Maybe the problem is that he doesn't get why she simply has to buy that $200 pair of jeans or she doesn't like it when he checks other women out or whatever, it really doesn't matter. It can all be solved by using the ARC triange. The whole principle of the triangle is that these three things (Affinity, Reality and Communication) are all related. As Mr. Hubbard puts it in the course booklet for the Starting the Successful Marriage Course:

"Without affinity there is no reality or communication. Without reality there is no affinity or communication. Without communication there is no affinity nor reality."

So, the basic idea is that if there is no affection between people, they will have no reality and will not be able to communicate.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt your partner didn't listen to you? Did it do well or poorly? Anytime I've had that scenerio - it always led to a fight, which is to say, a lowering of affinity, reality, communication and finally a lowering of understanding. You don't feel like they "get" you because they aren't communicating, which makes your affection for them less and makes your relationship less real. Have you ever experienced this? Let me know!

*Affinity: means emotional response. The feeling of affection or lack of it.
**Reality: means the solid objects, the real things of life.
***Communication: means an interchange of ideas between two people

No comments: